First Tuesday without Kelsie.

Little Kelsie, in June 2001.

She fit in immediately.

She was always such a good dog.

Matthew loved her too, and when he moved away in Nov 2008, Kelsie couldn't figure out where he went. Life is full of ups and downs; full of joy and heartbreak. Most of the days flow in a pattern, but then comes the time for a big upset and turmoil. It felt like that when Matthew moved out on Nov 28, 2008. I didn't want him to go; he was only 19. But he was very independent. Yet I still had Kelsie as she remained here with us. That was a big help to me, as the ache caused by Matthew leaving was very painful indeed.

Now that little Kelsie is gone, the pain has grown deeper. Tonight was the first Tuesday without Kelsie at suppertime, and the first Tuesday with Matthew here, but no Kelsie to greet him. She always seemed to know when he was coming, as I'd clean house and scrub all day. She just loved it when he was here. Up until recently, they would play energetically together, and sometimes in the evening if it was warm we'd all go for a walk together. As Kelsie got older, this happened less and less.

However last Tuesday, which we didn't know was our last one together, she sat near us at supper and whined a lot. Because she wasn't eating well, I only was giving her dog food, but that night I gave her some raw carrot which she gobbled down. She also ran to the back door when Matthew and Robert left at 10:30 pm to go do the risers, and she hadn't done that in a while. She wanted to go out too, to see them off. It was like she was saying good-bye.

The past few days I've been looking through all the photos I took of her in 2001, and I've been putting them in a special album on my Facebook page privately, so I can view them on our smart TV. I have so many lovely photos. It really helps to re-live the memories, as Kelsie now lives in our hearts.